I have just met you 2021, and I am in love with you! It was love at first light, as I woke up from my champagne hangover to greet you in full sunlight. Even if it’s strange to experience such a warm winter and it concerns me that we are taking global warming to a whole new level this year, I cannot help loving the warmth and sheer expansion of the light you bring into my life now. As a lightworker, I soak it all in – they say love is simply seeing yourself mirrored in another person’s soul, and in this case we are both filling each other with light. Help illuminate my Shadow this year, so that I can continue to lovingly integrate it into my being.
Your eyes are full of hope and possibility and I want to lose myself in them. You bring with you the promise of health and community and I admire this so much about you. You also need to know that on some level I’m recuperating from the broken shards and fragmented parts that 2020 brought about. I am recovering from a claustrophobic and heavy, almost masochistic-like relationship with my ex, Mr. 2020. We split at the turn of the year and I decided to leave all my fear and self-limiting beliefs in its arms, as I walked away slowly from loss, pain and confusion. Too many walls were erected last year in moments I justified as self-protection, but if I am truly loved and blessed by Spirit than why should I protect myself so much? And from what, exactly? What is the real threat, if not the act of dissociating myself from love?
So I imagined something better for myself this year, I visualized a shower of golden light splashing over me and this instantly manifested when I met you! I woke up soaked in literal sunlight, and as I am writing this post from my white wooden table near the window, the rays of the sun are caressing my hands. It needs to be put into writing so that it turns somehow official 🙂 that I aim to stop resisting love this year, I aim to accept help and support, to get increasingly more comfortable with my vulnerabilities, and to keep integrating unknown aspects of my Self that the Ego has been blocking from my sight. As I was just setting these intentions, I realized my building’s intercom was left on ‘silent’, and that I forgot to answer some emails, that some texts messages were lost – the communication and clarity I was seeking last year has always been there, but I erected walls around other people’s capacity to reach out to me and then wallowed in the sadness imposed by living behind such walls. How silly is that! I have to learn to step out of my own way. And I trust you’ll help me achieve this, good friend.
You also made me suddenly aware of how conflict with others in my life is just an indication of where I am being too self-critical and tough on myself, and that harmony on the outside in my life is an inside job, that of appreciating those things I struggle with internally. I plan to keep listening to my heart, to allow hot showers of awareness to splash over me when I am ready to integrate new truths about myself. In order to do so, I will drop all that self-imposed control and allow the Divine to inspire me, as I adopt the role of a ‘vessel’ of insights. This post is a quick manifestation of exactly this intention and I wrote my love letter in a rapid whimsy. See, it’s already coming into play! Ah the beaty and sheer wonder of this process ❤
And I feel you are meant to help me in this endeavor and the fact that I see this in you, helps me love you, allows me to let my energy flow towards you. These words pour out of my current state of conscious awareness onto the space of this blog, as I make space for your wisdom to pour into me this year, taking me to new heights of spiritual exploration.
You carry within yourself the winds of change as Jupiter (the God of Wisdom, Growth and Luck) & Saturn (the God of Time, Karma and Effort) who are travelling at the moment through the blissfully whimsical and brilliantly erratic constellation of Aquarius, the Water Bearer (ruled by unpredictable Uranus, and representing fixed Air). So I know that you are brining me lessons in higher awareness and that you will continue to show me where I am barely patched up rather than whole and complete. You’ll spark your flashlight and show me what about me needs to be held and loved even deeper (and I am increasingly aware how much this my spiritual responsibility, as it it the responsibility of others in my life).
You will bring me experiences, people and resources that will help me see myself in a new light, so that I can manifest and co-create with Spirit from a fresh point of view, so that I can creatively visualize new things, new experiences and new relationships. You are already filling up my Soul, and if only for this little 1st of January aspect, I am already deeply grateful to you. Thank you for jolting me out of the ‘2020 Beauty Rigor Mortis Sleep’ today, to remind me that true beauty lies in how we intuitively follow the Soul’s journey of growth towards illumination and unconditional love.
I am ready, willing and able to make our young love-at-first-sight into a solid and stable commitment, to work on sustaining our relationship and keep balancing it out. You are worth this much energy from me, at least! This means that from my part, I shall dive deep and bring back treasures from the sea of my emotional history, to uncover hidden parts of myself as I get to know you better, with all the days you are bringing, all the time you are gracing me with and the challenges you will place in my path to help me understand myself better. In preparation, I equip myself now with the support of the loving community I gathered around me last year (my Spiritual Social crew), with knowledge from books and articles and audio-books, with affirmations and my tarot and oracle decks, to focus not on changing what I don’t like about myself but to accept myself more.
I’ll have faith in knowing that I do not need so much protection when I trust fully that the Divine loves me and that Spirits is in-spiring me with its essence. I won’t pressure you with plans and models, high expectations or lofty dreams because I know and trust that you are organically helping me fulfill a deep wish of mine, simply because you love me: and that is to plant my roots on a new spiritual foundation, that of my heart. Because whatever is built on the foundation of the heart, endures when other material or mental things might crumble.
We are souls having a deeply human experience and while I now that you are a New year, I hope to embody your essence and I hope to love you so much, as I practice loving myself more. And may the Light that is generated in this process serve others and inspire them to trust, love and heal themselves more!
With an opened, grateful heart,